(Source: blua, via you-had-me-at-bacon)
so my parents just came home from the shops and told me that they got a new toilet seat
Yes those are dolphins and shells.
But wait until you open the fucking thing
Oh yes
my parents bought a LIGHT UP TOILET SEAT
I am so fucking done
When I grow up…
(via you-had-me-at-bacon)
that is the single most australian thing I have ever read
You go, bus dude. You go.
(Source: idiotsonfb, via you-had-me-at-bacon)
Ryan Gosling and Ellen Degeneres
i really tried to scroll past this
This is one my top fav episodes ♥
Ryan Gosling you’re beautiful. <3
(via you-had-me-at-bacon)
disney channel is like that one close friend you had when you were younger that grew up to be an asshole
and cartoon network was the cool one that grew up to be a druggie
nickelodeon is the one that still hasn’t changed and won’t get over sponge bob sqaure pants
(Source: mymockingbirds, via roxysmash)
Paint primary colors on fan wings
BRILLIANT
Did we just discover how to paint with all the colors of the wind?
omG
(via you-had-me-at-bacon)
(Source: vaudevilliangoth, via astr4l)
(via glassharts)
(via fuckingunicornbeast)
(Source: felicity-avenal, via lolzpicx)
| (A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.) | |
| Angry Customer: | “Damn f**s.” |
| Gay Man: | “Excuse me?” |
| Angry Customer: | “You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.” |
| Gay Man: | *quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?” |
| Angry Customer: | “Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.” |
| (The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.) | |
| Angry Customer: | *to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?” |
| (Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.) | |
| Owner: | “I’m sorry ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.” |
| Wife: | “Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—” |
| Owner: | “Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant; I gotta assume it’s your pet.” |
| (The angry customer storms out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.) |
(via lolzpicx)
